Navel orange: four and a half stars for what is usually a four star fruit. Oranges are in many ways an ideal fruit: they are a delicious and refreshing treat. Additionally, their long shelf life and consistent level of quality means that, wherever you are, you are never far away from an immensely edible snack. The orange’s only fault is its inconvenience. The inevitable wet, sticky hands relegate the orange to an outdoors fruit.

After my eldest nephew’s incident in the store room, my nephew suddenly found himself unable to eat most earthly foods. As we ate our usual evening meal, we discovered that none of the food items that entered his mouth stayed put as they ought. This was quite a shock to us all at Salamander Manor. The kibbled potatoes entered his mouth, and immediately returned. The ground beans did the same. As did the pulverised parsnips, the macerated elkyam, the milled wheat, and the cracked onions. Our initial shock was beginning to turn to panic. Finally, parched from all the returning, my eldest nephew took a sip of orange juice. Wonder upon wonder: the orange juice stayed. We all breathed easily once more, and my nephew resigned himself to a life-long diet consisting solely of orange juice. So that my nephew may always have sufficient nutriment, I ordered my batman to tear down the ancient Alsatian burial ground, and had him plant an orange grove in its stead. This is how the Salamander Manor Orange Grove Orange Juice Company came into being.