Kiwi fruit: two stars for what is usually a two star fruit. I find kiwi fruit to have an almost metallic taste like blood or rust. The taste hangs around in my mouth for a bit longer than necessary. It is not bad, and it is quite convenient, but it is certainly not my first choice in fruits. I rarely stoop to denaturing my fruit with other foodstuffs, but this specimen sits proudly atop a pikelet.

At the age of thirteen, my eldest nephew had almost completed his preliminary apprenticeship as a draper’s assistant. He had finished his studies, and all that was required was a further year working under the supervision of an experienced draper. The draper under whom my eldest nephew worked was, of course, my friend Balphox. Balphox could count the number of warp threads in a fabric from a distance of nine metres, and was a kind and understanding teacher. My eldest nephew’s first month as a draper’s assistant were uneventful. As he became more experienced, his responsibilities grew, and within very little time, my nephew was entrusted to running the shop on his own every Monday, while Balphox travelled to the nearby metropolitan hub to retrieve bolts of the latest trendy fabrics. On one such Monday, my eldest nephew was climbing up the ladder to put away a bolt, he lost his footing and fell down. Roll upon roll of dusty fabric piled down upon him, and he was unable to climb out until Balphox returned in the late evening. Fortunately, my eldest nephew emerged relatively unscathed, but the hours of dust inhalation must have caused some new allergic reactions to develop. To this day, he cannot eat kiwi fruits without his entire face glowing bright green.